


Day One

by dstridesandkarkles



Series: One Year Left - Dirk Strider [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dirk's Issues, God Tier: Page of Hope, God Tier: Prince of Heart, M/M, POV: Dirk Strider, Post-Sburb, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-04
Updated: 2014-04-04
Packaged: 2018-01-18 00:40:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1408591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dstridesandkarkles/pseuds/dstridesandkarkles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sunday: March 29th, 2015</p>
            </blockquote>





	Day One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [influentialartist@tumblr](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=influentialartist%40tumblr).



Your name is Dirk Strider, and you have received the worst news of your life. Your boyfriend is sitting out in the waiting room. He forced you to come here, he could feel that something was wrong with you. Naturally, he was worried. Everyone was. You hadn't thought that it was such a big deal. You are twenty-one years old, and if you aren't worried about a little blood when you cough, why should other people be? Because they are your friends, why else?

You have been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and you have no idea how you are supposed to look at your friends in the eye. How you are supposed to tell them that they were right, and you were too fucking stupid to get seen earlier. You now had one year left to live, and you aren't sure how to handle it.

The doctor left you to your own devices, and you break the fuck down. One year left with Jake. One year left with John, Dave, Rose, Jade, Jane, and Roxy. Hell, you are even feeling bad for your troll friends you had made since they came into your session with John and the others. You are the worst, and it wasn't like you needed anymore of a reason to hate yourself. There are tears streaming down your face, your hands are shaking. What kind of an idiot were you to think coughing up blood meant you were fine?

There is a knock at the door, then the sound of it opening slowly. A head poked in, it is Jake. Poor, sweet Jake. This is going to tear him apart. Much to your protest, he is by your side in a moment's notice, rubbing your back. You hate that he is able to soothe you so easily when all you want is to disappear from existence.

"Dirk, what's wrong?" Jake's voice is a bit high pitched, this seems to happen whenever you are down, whenever you actually break your stoicism.

"Jake, I'm dying." The tears don't stop, you are clutching onto your shirt. You still don't understand how stupid you were to not see this yourself.

"No you aren't. You'll be fine." Jake tries to reassure you.

"I have cancer, Jake! Terminal pancreatic cancer! All this time I was assuming I was fine, it was getting worse! Now... now they can't treat it, and I have one year left..." And there you go, completely broken. Admitting how stupid you are for the first time in God knew how long.

You think you see Jake's eyes widen, though you can't be too sure through your tears. You feel the warm embrace, hear the soothing shooshing from Jake. What the hell, you just told him that you are dying and he's not even acting like it is effecting him.

And then you feel it. That lone tear that tells you he is trying to seem strong for you. This makes you feel even worse about it all. Your hand moves to take his, you try to look at him through your tears, your free hand taking your glasses. All you can think of doing is press your forehead to his.

"I'm so sorry for not listening to everyone sooner. I'm sorry for being an idiot and trying to not worry you rather than see a doctor. I... I don't want to die, Jake. I wanted nothing more than to spend my life with you. To grow old with you. I'm sorry I ruined that." You're crying harder by the end of your little apology speech.

The arms around you get tighter, you can feel his heart beating through his chest. You don't know what you could do or say to make this better. Fuck if you even could make this better. He was still trying to shoosh you. You feel his fingers inching up your back, weaving through your hair. "I promise, everything will be okay, Dirk. Somehow. So please, stop apologizing. It's in the past, we can't change it now."

You feel another tear, this one makes you look at him. Reaching up, you wipe the tear away before resting your hand on his cheek.You lean forward just enough to press a kiss to his cheek. "Please don't cry, Jake. Also..." You hesitate for a moment. "Can we not tell everyone else... yet at least."

"Sure thing, babe." Jake agreed. Thank God. You wanted Jake to have time to let it sink it before everyone else knew.

You spend the next couple hours after getting home off and on crying in Jake's arms. He assures you that you guys will find a way to fix this even though the doctors can't. He even says that you may not even really die, since you are god tier. You never did understand why you guys kept your powers from the game when it ended.

"I hope I won't actually die. I mean, only heroic or just reasons keep us dead... I don't think disease counts under either." You try to smile behind your tears.

"Exactly!" Jake practically chirps. Hope was a weird aspect, but it fit Jake perfectly. Sometimes.

"The process of coming back hurts though." You frown.

Jake nods, you both had an instance where you died after the game. "Agreed."

It wasn't until now that you finally realized where in the house you had ended up. Looking around you saw the posters Jake had, your turntables, Lil' Cal, your smuppets you made when you were bored, Jake's guns, both your laptops, Jake's stupid skulltop he still had. You were in yours and Jake's room, and your heart sank all the deeper in your chest.

"Jake... if for some reason, this is a permanent death... I want you to be able to move on and be happy, okay?" You said, though you know that you want to keep him for yourself. Even in death, you don't want to lose him.

"Dirk, you will be fine, I promise. Look at me." As you do so, you feel him taking your glasses from you again and then his lips taking yours. Your hand moves to rest against his neck, his hand moving to cup your cheek. You were so fucking lucky to have managed to get him to take you back, especially after everything that happened in the game.

When you both finally break from the kiss, your eyes are scanning his face, trying to think of something, anything, to say. But you are afraid that your words might just ruin the moment. Your thumb starts to massage a little circle into Jake's neck. "I'm so lucky to have met you, Jake English."

"And I'm so lucky to have you in my life, Dirk Strider." He smiled, moving to rest his forehead against yours. You let your eyes fall shut, your arms reaching out to hold your boyfriend close to you. The more it set in, the scarier it got. You have cancer, and it will kill you. The only question was if it was going to be a permanent death or just another one of those god tier resurrection deals. You were hoping for the latter.

Jake looks over to the clock on your nightstand. When he lets out a low grumble, you look over to the clock yourself. Shit! It was already eleven at night? You guys had class at six in the morning and then work after that.

"Let's head to bed, babe." You offer, falling back and pulling him down with you. He laughs and then kisses you. Everything in the world feels alright. You can handle this, so long as you don't actually think about it.

When he pulls away from you, hovering slightly above you, you can feel the smile on your lips. "I love you, Dirk." Your heart soars, just like every other time he says those three little words to you.

"I love you, too, Jake." You whisper before pulling him into another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to see where I post my work on tumblr, check out [dstridesandkarkles-ao3](http://dstridesandkarkles-ao3.tumblr.com) and to just check out my randomness, feel free to check out my main blog, [dstridesandkarkles](http://dstridesandkarkles.tumblr.com).


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